From my diary, a year ago today:
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
9:40 AM
I feel like I'm in a strange rift between the past and the future. I feel like something big is changing. Some massive set of events is set in motion, and I'm about to be carried off into a strange life I don't recognize. It doesn't feel good or bad, just strange. I feel like my brain is rewiring itself and history is rewriting itself to compensate for some strangeness in fate that is poised to arrive. I'm still tired, but not exhausted, or weary. Just... reposed. Now let's go look that up. I looked up hinterland from "bed" this morning [I was sleeping on the floor then]. It meant exactly what I thought--back country. At least in the literal sense. In the monologues and lectures and conversations in my mind, it's nearly synonymous with "red state." "Reposed." I don't know if that works. Maybe "subdued." In the sense that a color is subdued, not that I'm a rebel army that has been put down through violence. I'm sad now. It's overcast. It's 10:07 AM.
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