Things I Did in January 2014

Just when you thought it was safe to log on to Twitter... it's... another "Things I Did!"

I'm sorry I don't have any photos this time (I assume that's the one reason I get any hits on these entries)--my camera died early in the year and I have yet to replace it. But don't worry! There are plenty of boring words to glance over before you close the window with a huff and get back to reading jokes!

My motto/slogan/mantra for this year is "Better Things!" as in: I can fill my time with better things! I can expect to achieve better things! I can help other people have/do better things! I know--I can hear how that sounds, too! Even I want to tell me to shut up! But I'm just much more positive and hopeful this January than I was last January, and I think that's due in great part to all the things I did for last year's "Things I Did" write-ups.

For this month, I have an "essay," a book review, a new health/fitness goal (so sore right now!), and a new BIG goal for 2014: "Go to 50 New Places!"

ESSAY: I wrote this weird little thing about my family history (which I barely know) and how it loosely relates to a TV show called "Justified" (which I've barely seen). Not 100% sure why I wrote it or if it's the least bit interesting. Enjoy!

An Autobiographical Note Relating to the FX Series "Justified"

BOOK REVIEW:

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens, by Sean Covey

My aunt gave me this book for Christmas or a birthday roughly 15 years ago, and at the time I was quite offended. I hadn't gotten into self-help yet and thought she was trying to say that I was a loser, so I stuffed it in the back of the closet. I found it recently when I was searching for my algebra book, and decided to read it. I can see how I wouldn't have been in the right frame of mind for this kind of advice back then, and I laughed at myself for all the lessons it covers that I've since had to learn the hard way. I've also found the book to be full of practical advice concerning "Habits" I'm currently working to develop.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens is a teen version of the bestselling Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, "written" by the son of the author of that book (I had my doubts about Covey's sole-authorship, and toward the end, in the "synergy" chapter he admits that over a hundred people helped him create the book). Despite a moderate amount of cheesiness (it is a self-help book after all), Seven Habits is actually pretty useful, full of concepts that you can apply to your life right away whether you are a teen still or not--in fact, I would recommend it for anyone old enough to read it (assuming you're okay with your five-year-old reading the four pages about whether or not you're ready for sex), and even for retirees who are starting life over on their own terms (though maybe the adult version would be more helpful for them, I don't know). 

Basically, it is a book of practical advice for dealing with life in general. There were two concepts in particular which, when put together, I found extremely helpful. One was the idea of having a "Personal Bank Account" and a "Relationship Bank Account"--if you keep promises to yourself or others (or do any number of other positive things), you are putting "deposits" into these bank accounts. The other was the idea of "Time Quadrants"--classifying the things you do as urgent and important (The Procrastinator spends a lot of time here), urgent but unimportant (The Yes-Man), non-urgent and unimportant (The Slacker), or non-urgent but important (The Prioritizer), with the goal of moving as much of your time as possible to The Prioritizer Quadrant. Putting the "Bank Account" concept together with the "Time Quadrant" concept helped me to see that I'd grown up believing that if something wasn't urgent, it couldn't be important, and thus, again and again, I had failed to make deposits in my Personal Bank Account (i.e. by making time to do the things that were important to me, but not urgent--even when I had the time and resources to do them), resulting in low self-esteem, and leading me to believe that the only way I could be right in other people's eyes was by being a Yes-Man all the time. I rarely fell victim to peer pressure as a teen, so I wouldn't have believed then that I was a Yes-Man, but I did often fall into the habit of Lose-Win ("Think Win-Win" is Habit 4), making myself a doormat to my family and to the kids I wanted to be my friends, eventually coming to believe that relationships were nothing but black holes, where you can give and give and give and never get anything back but guilt-trips and rejection. Now I see that when I assert myself and value my own time, other people come to value it too (funny how the therapist I went to for a couple of months two years ago kept trying to tell me this, but I never quite understood). When I give myself or other people my valuable time and energy (rather than time and energy that I have devalued, like inflated currency), it counts as a "deposit" and, in turn, promotes self-esteem and healthier relationships.

Other Habits (intentionally capitalized) include "Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood" and "Sharpen the Saw" (which is about renewing oneself through productive relaxation in order to be more effective, like a sharpened saw). I appreciate that the book starts by suggesting you center your life on principles, rather than on material or social gain, or even on God, which would have been easy for the author, whom I think might be Mormon (The signs are there! Maybe it says on Wikipedia! That's a very short entry for a best-selling author! Never mind! Doesn't matter anyway!). Many of the examples of personal mission statements submitted to the book by teenagers mentioned God, but the book itself is kindly accepting of non-believers and steers pretty clear of politics. My only objection is the author's recurrent use of the term "person of the opposite sex" which could be completely innocent, or could imply some homophobia (there are hotline numbers listed in the back of the book for eating disorders, abuse, substance abuse, gang prevention, pregnancy, and mental health, but nothing about help for bullied or abandoned LGBT youth). 

All in all though, a good book. I may even pick up the original grown-up version sometime in order to review the Habits and see if it has any extra adult-specific advice.

HEALTH AND FITNESS:

I recently found a page torn from the October 2008 issue of Reader's Digest tucked into one of my books (why was it in my copy of Middle English Verse Romances?). The page concerned the President's Council on Physical Fitness and Sports' recently launched "Adult Fitness Test" (that's a link). The magazine offered some goals for 40-year-old men and women, and while these goals don't appear to be on the website, I entered them into the system there and found that they are in the 95th percentile (i.e. ambitious) goals. Since I'm "only" 30, I decided this would be a reasonable challenge. I hope to meet the women's goals by the end of June 2014 (after that, it will be too hot to do jack squat, much less run around the neighborhood as fast as I can) and the men's goals by the end of the year (once it's cooled off again). (I've switched the two goals for sit-and-reach since women are expected to be more flexible.)

I took the test at the end of December 2013 and scored abysmally (think 5th percentile). I later discovered that the running route I'd chosen was actually 1.75 miles, so you can shave a minute or two off my time, but still, abysmal. I took it again today, and despite having performed only marginally better, I feel like I've been beaten with a 30-pound sack of russet potatoes.

Here are all my stats so far ("Starting" means my December 2013 test results):

Push-ups:

Starting: 7 (on knees, without stopping)

January: 9 (on knees, without stopping)

Women's Goal: 33 (on knees, without stopping)

Men's Goal: 40 (without stopping)

1.5-mile run:

Starting: 23 1/2 minutes (turned out to be 1.75 miles)

January: 18 1/2 minutes

Women's Goal: under 12 minutes

Men's Goal: under 10 minutes

Half sit-ups:

Starting: 20 in a minute

January: 22 in a minute

Women's Goal: 60 in a minute

Men's Goal: 65 in a minute

Sit and reach: 

Starting: 1 inch beyond heels

January: 2 inches beyond heels

Men's Goal: 8 inches beyond heels

Women's Goal: 9 inches beyond heels

As you can see, I improved ever so slightly in every area. Hooray!

P.S. I had considered keeping track of my weight, body fat percentage, and waist measurement as I (hopefully) make progress on these goals, but decided instead to keep the focus on what I can DO (i.e., the whole point of these "Things I Did" blog entries) rather than my physicality/appearance. Go self-esteem!!

GO TO 50 NEW PLACES GOAL:

This is my big 2014 goal (like last year's 100 recipes goal). I'm really anxious about even setting it because I've become so entrenched in my agoraphobic behavior again--especially since the puppies came along, requiring that so much of my time be spent at home. My plan is to go to about one new place a week, meaning a shop or restaurant (etc.) that I've never visited before or one that I've been afraid to drive to myself and visit alone. The idea is that a lot of the other things I'm working on don't get me out into the world, and I start to despair that my life won't get any better in the long run if I'm never able to apply the knowledge and skills I acquire at home "out there," thus hindering my progress (because why bother?). In the past, I've done big, scary things to break out (e.g. trip to New Orleans for Mardi Gras with six strangers and one sort-of friend; study abroad in Italy; the time I actually had a job), and those were rewarding but also very difficult and thus discouraging to future progress, so this year I'd like to try taking several (i.e. fifty) smaller steps outward instead!

I don't know if I'll do write-ups for all fifty, but I went ahead and did the first two:

Place One: Rockfish Seafood Grill

My dad and I did a small chore for his mother for which she was grateful enough to buy us lunch. I thought this place would be fancy (I like the name--sounds fancy to me), but it was kind of like a lunchy Outback. I accidentally read the happy hour menu and thought the beer was cheap, so I got a 12 oz. draft of Sam Adam's Winter Lager, which was very mellow and delicious (2013 taught me that I love trying new things, especially new foods and drinks). I liked that they had a la carte brunch options--I got a single sweet potato pancake with pecans and "bourbon maple syrup" (very good) and a berry parfait (too sweet, but otherwise good). The conversation was fine until Grandma got onto politics at the end and called me a Communist twice on the ride home. Also, the women's toilet was broken (only one stall for a big restaurant?), and I'd drunk a whole beer and a whole ice water, but luckily Dad and Grandma were kind enough to take me straight home afterward (I needed to take the puppies out anyway). On the whole it was fun, and I'm glad I went.

Place Two: New Assisted Living Center

My mother and I went to check out a new assisted living center in the area in case we need to move her mom. The place was pretty badly designed, with a lot of money put into fancy finish materials and interior decorating and very little thought put into the practical needs of elderly residents--it was too open and unsafe for dementia patients while not having enough privacy or amenities for active seniors. At least I got a complimentary red velvet mini cupcake!

You're still here? Why? Well, thanks, I guess....