A Self-Analytical Moment: Shyness

I only fall for men I perceive to be shy. Apparently, this is so that when they fail to respond to me, I don't have to interpret it as a lack of interest, or even worse: as proof that I am unworthy of love.

Certain shy guys, on the other hand, only fall for the prettiest girls because then they can say, "Oh, but she's so far out of my league!" instead of having to admit to a lack of gumption.

My Life Right Now

This is the outfit I wore today because I am useless to society:

I've had this T-shirt for at least 16 years. Note that my room is a trash heap of puppy stuff and that my National Merit certificate is hanging askew.

Here I am trying to look like a tough runway model who hasn't eaten in a really long time and isn't taking any more shit from anyone:

Today I ate blueberry pancakes and pasta and biscotti and Girl Scout cookies, so I'm probably not fooling anyone with the "hasn't eaten in a really long time" part.

The puppies are running around in my room right now, biting me and tearing things up. They are awful, but I love them anyway. Here's my little girl-potato, Lizzie. (She looks like a big potato with legs and a tiny head.):

And here it looks like I'm snuggling Spotters (I'm supposed to call him Joey now), but I'm really just trying to keep him from biting my face. (He's the first of the puppies to be able to climb onto my bed, which means he will probably be the first of the puppies to pee on my bed.):

I cropped this picture because my nose looked really red, but Max's face looked just right:

And here's Ginger sucking on a rag. It's really gross:

Here's a toy the puppies have had for a couple of days:

They are terrifying.

I don't get to go to bed until the puppies are tired (unless I want them to tear up their papers and bedding). 

It's a nice life, I guess?

This is my life right now.

#13. Mozzarella Cheese with Fennel and New Potatoes

Another dud from the Easy Vegetarian book. These were arranged in fancy little stacks. The hyper-annoying phrase "amuse-bouche" comes to mind. The first bite was interesting, but I got sick of the overly-intense flavor fairly soon after that. Also, the recipe said only to "season generously" (with salt and pepper) between each layer in the stacks, and there was a fine line between too little and too much. Same with the vinegar and oil.

Here's the fennel bulb:

It was tiny (that's a bartender's cutting board it's on, for limes and such) and cost $3. 

I didn't have a mandoline to cut the fennel fine, so it was difficult to make the stacks:

I finally got one stack to stand. I took a picture before adding the balsamic vinegar because the fancy photo in the book had a beautiful white-and-off-white color scheme that made it obvious they'd done the same:

Here it is with the vinegar:

The stack fell shortly after I took this photo.

#12. Pancakes with Cereal in Them

I woke up one morning with a hankering for pancakes, but only 1/2 C. of flour in the pantry (I use white whole wheat flour). Usually I make a half recipe using the first (plainest) recipe in Joy of Cooking, but that would have required 3/4 C. of flour. Instead of making a "third"-sized recipe, I made up the difference with half a cup of cereal. I used Kashi Black Currant and Walnut cereal, which is like extra-fancy raisin bran. 

The pancakes turned out really well. I used less water than I usually do (the recipe calls for milk, but I use water). The chunks of cereal were a bit chewy and sticky--I would recommend soaking the cereal in the water or milk before adding both to the batter.

Here it is in the skillet (chunky!):

And here's the finished meal in some beautiful morning light:

Topping with blueberries and honey was a very good idea. 

A+

#11. Zucchini and Cheese on Toast

This one was not so great. I'm not even going to share the recipe (it came from the Easy Vegetarian book).  

The problems here were: 1. Shallots are disgusting. I thought I could make them taste better than they did in the Chiles Rellenos (the "for real" ones) by precooking them, but it did not help. 2. There was not enough cheese. Part of this is my fault because I *may* have stuffed a few handfuls of it in my face prior to adding it to the zucchini. 3. The recipe called for Worchestershire sauce, but I didn't have any. I was going to add some balsamic vinegar, but I forgot. 4. The bread was supposed to be pretoasted so it wouldn't get soggy, but this just meant the edges got burnt while the middles got soggy anyway. Maybe baking would have worked better than broiling.

I took some pretty pictures, though. Here it is, ready to go into the oven:

This was when it had broiled just long enough to look right. (I should have taken it out then except that the recipe called for raw egg, and I wanted to make sure it was thoroughly cooked.):

The colors looked nice with this plate:

I ate the most burnt slice first. I stuck a fork in it because it was done!:

It just occurred to me that this is the recipe I tasted before adding the egg, not the zucchini bread. The mixture was pretty good raw, I must say.

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#10. Chocolate Zucchini Bread

THIS WAS A REALLY, REALLY GOOD ONE. It comes from a book my mom found at TJ Maxx and gave to me as a thank you present for taking care of Ginger and her puppies. The book is called Mary Engelbreit's Fan Fare Cookbook, and consists of family recipes contributed by people all across the United States, plus illustrations by beloved drawer of little blond girls in glasses, Mary Engelbreit. 

This recipe was submitted by Richard Mittelhauser of Melbourne, FL, who calls it "a third generation recipe." (I didn't know zucchini bread had been around that long, but my mom remembers someone she knew making it in the 1960's.) I made a half recipe, but used the full amount of cinnamon and omitted the almond extract (because I didn't have any). Also, it's possible that I used less sugar (I made this a couple weeks ago, so I don't remember, but that sounds like something I would do).

Here's a picture of the batter. Doesn't it look like something you wouldn't serve to your worst enemy?:

(Ha ha just kidding I would force-feed this to all of my enemies. Except that it tastes good. I  know that because I added the raw eggs last and tasted it just before. It almost didn't make it to the oven. UPDATE: I just realized it was the Zucchini and Cheese on Toast that I tasted before adding the egg. This one smelled good at least?)

Here is the book's version of the recipe, which makes TWO 9 by 5-inch loaves:

3 C. flour (I used white whole wheat flour)
1 1/4 tsp. baking powder
1 1/4 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. cinnamon
4 eggs
3 C. sugar
1 1/2 C. canola oil
3 oz. unsweetened chocolate (hard baking chocolate--I used semisweet)
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 tsp. almond extract
3 C. coarsely grated zucchini (be careful--zucchini is slippery. Also, I used a third more, and probably could have gotten away with adding even more than that.)
1 C. chopped nuts (I used walnuts)
1/2 C. chopped dates

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease and flour two 9 by 5-inch loaf pans. Sift together (or just mix thoroughly--that's all I ever do) the dry ingredients (except for sugar and chocolate). In a separate bowl, beat the eggs, then add sugar and oil and mix well. Melt the chocolate (I'll put it in the microwave until it deforms halfway, then stir it until it's fully melted--that way it doesn't get a burnt taste) and add it and the vanilla and almond extracts to the egg mixture. Fold in the dry ingredients. Squeeze excess moisture from the zucchini (I just pressed it against the bottom of a measuring cup and tilted it so the water ran out). Add zucchini, nuts, and dates to the batter. Divide and pour the batter into the prepared loaf pans. Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes (I baked it slightly longer and the knife still wouldn't come out clean--I'd say bake 1 hour and 20 minutes at least). Let stand on a wire rack for 20 minutes before removing from the pans.

This is one of those things that is "even better the next day," but by the next day, there was hardly any left (I guess that's why you're supposed to make two loaves at a time). My mom came over to visit the puppies the day I made this, so I served her a slice along with a cup of NUMI's excellent Aged Earl Grey tea (my mom shudders over the extra expense of Fair Trade, organic products, but admitted that this particular tea is probably worth the markup). It was an excellent combination.

Here's the snack I served my mom:

This bread is difficult to cut smoothly, especially on the first day, as it is very moist and crumbly. So here's the snack I made for myself:

Just a big pile of crumbs, pretty much. And yes, I drink tea out of a 2 C. measuring cup sometimes.

My mom said this bread tastes like date bread, and the flavor and texture of the walnuts and dates really do come through. What surprised me, though, was that there was also plenty of chocolate in it (I only used about a third of a baking bar--Sunspire is a very rich brand though). I'd recommend making this instead of chocolate brownies or cupcakes since it tastes at least as good, but has a lot of healthy fiber (from the zucchini, the dates, and the nuts) and not as much unhealthy stuff.

A+++

#9. Chiles Rellenos, for Real This Time

Last month I created a vegan version of Chiles Rellenos based on the non-vegan recipe in my 75th anniversary edition of Joy of Cooking and the meager contents of my fridge. It was good enough to eat and even enjoy just a little bit, but it gave me a hankering for the real thing, so on Groundhog Day, the day of trying things over again just a little bit differently this time, I followed the Joy of Cooking recipe to the letter to compare. Surprisingly, it was not nearly as good. In fact it was awful.

Here's what I think went wrong. First off, I bought three poblano peppers, and since the recipe called for 6, I made half as much cheese & shallots filling. This was not nearly enough to actually fill the peppers. Secondly, shallots are disgusting. I truly hate green onions and chives, and shallots, although they look like cute baby onions, have an annoyingly chivey flavor. Third, I should have used a large amount of mild salsa, rather than a dribble of the medium, because the poblanos themselves are gross-tasting and VERY spicy (Joy described them as having "a rich flavor" and "varying heat").

Here they are, oiled up and ready for roasting:

Here they are after roasting:

I probably could have roasted them longer, because it was somewhat difficult to remove the skin.

Here's the finished product:

I barely ate the whole thing. I ended up giving the other two to my dad, who likes chiles rellenos and orders them a lot in restaurants. He said that the peppers I used were a bit spicier than usual and agreed that there wasn't enough cheese filling. But he said they were otherwise okay (and he's a very honest critic).

I wanted to see what the chiles were "supposed" to taste like too, so I found some in the prepared foods section at Costco (they cost a whopping $13 for four):

I heated them up in the microwave and topped them with the same kind of cheese I'd used for the filling when I made them myself:

What I don't show is the two slices of bread I had to eat with this to keep my face from catching on fire. This version was actually pretty good, though. There was plenty of cheese filling (they used a ricotta type, which worked better than the three cheese "Mexican blend" I'd used). The sauce was thick and chunky, like spaghetti sauce with bits of hot peppers in it. I ate and enjoyed all four chiles, but I don't think I'll buy these again because they're just too spicy for me.

The Puppies Are Nine Weeks Old Today and I Have Lost My Mind It Is Gone

A week and a half ago, the puppies had their first trip to the veterinarian since the day they were born. As I carried them in, I considered how much heavier they were than they had been that first day and felt like a farmer taking his prize pumpkin to the fair. Everyone oohed and ahhed, and I felt proud. But I've been so tired. Today, my mom sat alone with the puppies just long enough for me to pay some bills, and when I came back, she said, "I don't know how you've been doing this!" 

In the beginning, most of my exhaustion over the puppies came from worrying about them and trying to keep them from being suffocated in their sleep, and also from taking care of Ginger, who was a very demanding nursing mother (eating, drinking, pooping and peeing for four, 24 hours a day). Now it's because the little ones are running, jumping, biting, barking, escaping, eating, pooping and peeing more than ever.

Not that they'll let go of their babyish ways. Here they are nursing at seven weeks, even though they were capable of eating dry food (they kept at it until eight weeks and five days):

Ginger fights with the babies a lot. It used to be strictly playful fight training, but more and more it's to keep them from nursing or, as we suspect, out of jealousy (kicking her out of the room only makes her angrier):

See baby girl coming to the defense of her brother? (If you look closely, you can see her crazy-eyes.):

I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU: we named the puppies. My mom named Spot "Joey," after the character on "Friends." My sister named the black puppy "Maxwell" after Maxwell Sheffield on "The Nanny." I named the little brown puppy "Lizzie" because I thought she should have a little British girl's name, and Lizzie came to mind.

Here, Lizzie sits on my mom's lap while Joey readies himself to spring and bark at her. See his tail wagging?:

The puppies love to play tug-of-war. I like to get them to play with each other, all three on the same rag, because they make hilarious high-pitched growling sounds, almost like a beehive. Here it's just me and Max, though:

Thank goodness they still sleep, or I would be dead:

Here's more nursing. You know you're too big for it when you can stand on your back legs:

"So... do you come here often?":

Part of the difficulty with weaning the babies is that Ginger steals their food. For a while, I thought spoon-feeding the puppies wet food would encourage them to eat, but Ginger just steals it:

Ginger fights with Max more than she does with the other puppies. Maybe twice a day she'll bite him too hard and he'll run crying:

This time, he just stole the food dish instead:

Lizzie biting her brother Joey (they have grown to be about the same size (smaller than Max) and are perfect sparring partners):

Max retreats to his favorite place to gnaw on the food dish:

Lizzie still enjoys biting belt loops:

And Joey still loves to chew on shoes:

Here I finally got a picture of how big and clear and shiny their eyes get when they nurse. (I'll miss that along with their musty milk breath.):

I had to enlarge their enclosure yet again. Their old box set-up (minus the heightened walls) is now inside of a composting bin (44" X 44" X 3' high):

It gives them plenty of room to play:

And takes up plenty of space in my smallish room:

I first used the flower pots to weigh down their newspapers, but they proved to be a big hit as toys:

Joey investigates the corner:

Lizzie:

Their first night in the large enclosure, the puppies huddled in the narrow space between the "potty box" and the wall:

I guessed they felt exposed, so I made a nest from a very large towel and put it in the sleeping box:

The vet says that Lizzie has a genetic variation whereby her lower jaw is too short. She ought to be okay, but we have to make sure her adult teeth grow in without cutting the roof of her mouth (since her teeth don't line up properly):

Chasing Ginger for milk:

Joey is the most reluctant to give up on the milk, so he gets snapped at a lot:

In this picture and the previous four, I was trying out manual settings on my camera. I haven't figured it out yet, so that's why they're dark and blurry. The colors here reminded me of a Delacroix sketch:

Sketch for Lion Hunt, by Eugene Delacroix:

They love chicken jerky. It keeps them good and occupied for about ten minutes:

They still jump up and down and cry whenever they want out of the box, which is still five or six times a day (I let them out for an hour or two each time):

I can't let any bit of me hang off my bed or the puppies will bite it. But here's something fun--the boys were chewing on my foot:

When Lizzie popped out from under the blanket unexpectedly and bit Joey on the butt:

They're supposed to chew on this box, but not on the training pad (Lizzie likes to nip the corner of one and prance around the room with it like a banner):

More sleeping, thank goodness. It's almost cute enough to make me forget how angry they make me sometimes:

Leaning in expectantly, hoping for milk. Ginger is done nursing by now, but still steals their food:

I thought this was cute. (I keep trying to get good videos of the puppies running around, but I only have the webcam in my computer, so they're always going in and out of the frame, in and out of the light.):

Sometimes I'll walk into my room for a tissue or a jacket, and they're just kind of chillin:

I'm devastated that this excellent snuggle came out blurry:

Especially since taking the picture woke them up:

But fortunately they went right back to sleep:

One day Joey lay down in a poo and had to have a real bath (not just his usual puppy wipe bath), which he found terrifying and exhausting. Here he is after his bath on clean bedding, possibly the first time he ever got tuckered out before his siblings (Lizzie is chewing on the box here, not sleeping):

Still at it. I think this may have been the last time, though:

I might keep Lizzie. I want to get a life and go places, but she and I are friends:

I find this hilarious in many ways:

My sister was planning to keep Max, but now Max has an annoying, high-pitched bark that belies his relative heftiness, while Joey gets cuter and cuter every day, so who knows?:

My dad insists that we find a way to keep all of the puppies among us. After all, four little dogs will probably still eat less than our last dog (a German shepherd):

Max snuck out of my room and stole one of his mom's biscuits and ate in under a rocking chair:

The puppies go outside on warm days now:

One day I was listening to the intercom radio in the kitchen, and a Muse song came on. I wanted to keep listening to it when I went into my room to get something, so I flipped the intercom switch, somehow forgetting I had sleeping puppies in there. I ran in and they looked a bit shell-shocked:

The puppies have finally begun to get comfortable enough outdoors to explore:

Though Max still freaks out sometimes:

Can you see little Lizzie Brown in this picture? I worry about my tiny puppies getting lost in the big world:

Most days I only take them out one at a time, with their mother along. But it's fun to see them all out together. Can you see Lizzy and Joey in the background?:

Here they are!:

Ginger, chewing on bark mulch. I used to worry so much about her eating random things, but I've seen the puppies survive eating all sorts of stuff, so now I don't freak out about it as much:

Happy family, off to new adventures:

Bye for now!